Bayaland

petek, september 23, 2005

NEW!! Change your url for Bayaland!



The new and improved: Bayaland

sobota, september 17, 2005

Working

I'm having a working weekend ahead of me. And i just came home from today's work.
I slept well and long today, so i'm not feeling too exausted, even though i've been busy all day, with cooking, cleaning and then working.
Apparently a good sleep and a wonderful send off to work from Domen, works like a charm!

Going to bed in a minute, to read and then again off to sleep.
Tomorrow i'll have to do with a good night's sleep alone. I'll be just fine as well!

p.s. Why aren't mosquitos as easy to kill as flies?!

Ĩetrtek, september 15, 2005

Novelty

Today i decided to put my picture on the blog- see to the right. I took the last one off months ago, when i changed my template.
The summer vacation did its trick and i now have 3 new pictures of myself. Even i think, i don't look that bad there, hehe. All were taken by Domen.
And here you have one of them to see. Fyi, this is Domen's favourite.

Today i ...

- enjoyed the sunny weather
- finished one book yesterday night, already deep into the next one today
- had awesome spaghetti for lunch- i cooked
- ( sugar alert;)) kissed, hugged and loved my sweetie

Tomorrow...
- i'm working at 6 pm
- i'm cooking lunch
- reading my book
- if all goes well (sugar alert # 2) kiss, hug and love my sweetie

Next week...
- i might go to uni to get some papers
- i might meet up with some uni friends
- i'll get the new cross word puzzle magazine!, and see if i won any prizes for last one's results
- i'll (sugar alert # 3) kiss, hug and love my sweetie

Life ain't bad at all!! :-)

sreda, september 14, 2005

A pair

A healthy relationship

So, how does it look like? What are we suppose to do to have a healthy relationship?
First, you have to love the person you're with. You have to respect her/him. You also need to know how to communicate with each other, how to listen. You need to know how to share things, thoughts, ideas, fears, happy moments etc. In order to have a long and healthy relationship, you need to enjoy your partner's company. You need to respect her/his life, choices, doings.

Before all, you need to be a whole person yourself. You need to love yourself, respect yourself and know yourself. I support the idea of being a whole independant individual to begin with. You need to have your own life. A job, friends, hobbies etc. Because when your partner is away, you still need to function. You still need to enjoy your life, your days, yourself. You need to know how to fill up your day, how to amuse yourself and live on your own, regardless of being in a relationship. See, i have this friend who when she's alone at home, when let's say her partner is at work, does not know what to do with herself. She complains of feeling bored, lonely and sad.

Don't get me wrong. I am all for spending time with your partner and spending time with this awesome guy i have for a boyfriend, with whom i keep falling in love with more and more, is just so enjoyable. We do so much stuff together, and we're never bored. We share hobbies and just enjoy each other's company. I love spending time with him and i've never gotten fed up with him being around me. I can't wait to live with him constantly, going to bed with him every night, hugging him before i drift into sleep, hearing him breathe and feeling his warm body next to mine. I will wake up every morning and see him lying there, smiling at me, making the beginning of each day so very good. And share meals with him and run around the house naked whenever we'll feel like it, not having to worry if we're home alone or not.

Regardless of that, i know i will always keep Baya. I will always take care of myself and be my own person. I will never let go of that and lean on him so much that i would not know who i am anymore. Making choices, enjoying your days, being able to have a life on your own is what makes a healthy relationship.

But when being on your own, it's normal to miss your partner. Doing things together and laughing, kissing etc. is good. Being on your own and laughing and doing stuff you like is good as well. But it is different.
The trick is, that when you believe in your relationship and you know it's healthy and good, you know your partner will be back with you. Having a partner is just that, having a partner. You have your own life to live and just include your partner in it.

Love is just an extra bonus in otherwise a good life you're leading. Your partner is there to help, support and listen to you. A good relationship is to give and recieve. And to be your own person to begin with. It's simple as that.

p.s. I wrote this because i've gotten the idea that the readers of my blog don't understand my view on a relationship and i, according to them, need to grow up and also act grown up.
So, are the matters clear now?

torek, september 13, 2005

Little bits from my day

Today i had a cleaning fit. I cleaned my room. And i mean, cleaned it. I washed the windows and the curtains. Got rid of some stuff in my room that i had no use from, like a carpet, a broken table and a lot od dust. I like the way my room looks now, not to mention it really smells nice.

I also took my dog for a walk today. It felt nice, being out for some fresh air, while the sun was shining. There was a few people out as well, walking their dogs, cycling, jogging. I always wonder why people jog. I never liked running. My knees hurt, i had this pain in my stomach (?), my lungs hurt from heavy breathing. So, now that i don't have to, no school anymore, i just don't. I always prefered to do anything but that, like blading, cycling, swimming, dancing... Just anything but that.

I spent a lot of time on my own today. Just doing different things, from cleaning, to walking the dog (lol, i know what that term means as well! this time i actually mean walk the dog! hehe) and doing the cross word puzzle just up untill now. I finished the magazine, i'm getting a new one on September the 20th! I aslo had a little help from my new cross word puzzle dictionary (??). I got it last week. My baby gave it to me. I expressed a wish for having one and a few days later, there it was! He's so kind to me. How could i not love him?

I enjoyed my time alone. I had time to think and enjoy my own company ( this must sound cocky!). But still, i missed my baby. He was on my mind the whole day. I know we won't be living together still for many years to come. We'll have to adjust to being a lot of time apart again and just enjoy the moments when we'll actually be together. We'll manage. Somehow... Any suggestions?

nedelja, september 11, 2005

Finally!

Kim Clijsters

Well well, she finally made it. She really took her time to win her first grand slam.
Once uppon a time i was involved in the whole Kim & Flanders scene, so i know how much the people in Belgium support her and love her. And i know she's had some problems last year, breaking up with the Aussie and having her injury.
Apparently her time came. I'm glad for her.
Well done!

Stamper and a package



The other night Domen and i were snuggling in bed. He gave me a hundred of little kisses, on my face, my hand, my shoulder...
Somehow he came to an idea that he's like a little stamper kissing his little package. And new nicknames were born!
The best part is that the nickname is not set, one time i'm the package and he's a little stamper, and the next time it's vice versa!

Prolonged!

I recieved a letter from my uni stating that my student's status is being prolonged for the next 6 months. I'll be able to enjoy student's benefits for a little while longer. I'm glad it turned out like this. And i was worrying so much about it...

petek, september 09, 2005

Sad ...

By the looks of it, his parents are reading his blog. If this was a normal world, i'd think they read mine as well. But i was proven today, this is not a normal world.

He had a bit of a quarrel with his parents today. It's not something i'll get involved with. I have an opinion, of course, but it's between them to solve the matter. After, he felt sad. He told me what the situation is about and i listened. To the best of my knowledge and my experience, i told him what i think he should do. What i think would help. He listened.
Helping people, or better said, advising is what i've been doing for a long time. Mostly online, but also in person. What i learnt is that you can help a person, advise and suggest. But what that person will do, it's up to him/her. I often cared too much and hurt myself, seeing a person kept making the same mistakes over and over and over again. I suggested, listened, advised each day, each conversation. After repeating the same thing for oh so many times, i felt empty and sad, and angry. Angry because i knew that if he/she only did this and that and changed this and that, he/she'd feel better. But he/she kept rolling in the same circle. I actually felt responsible for him/her. Sometimes a strangest thing happened and after years of me listening and advising, he/she came to that very conclusion i suggested years ago. And so i realised that all i can do is suggest, listen and advise. The next move is his/hers. So that's how i work now. I marely listen, suggest and advise. I try not to get too involved. Being pushy and telling somebody what to do is never good. Letting him/her think and figure things out him/herself, is the best thing for me to do. And i did the same tonight. It's his turn to work on it. If he wants to. If not, we'll roll in the same circle over and over and over again. It's simple, it's his decision.

During the quarrel he had with his parents, it was over the phone, i was walking next to him, listening. First i heard his mom scream, and then his father talk. It didn't feel too well, hearing them quarrel. But what stroke me the most, was how calm and patient he was with them. Even though they were panicking, screaming and talking things that were impossible to happen, he kept calm and talked back. Explaining, calming them down and telling them what his intentions were. I felt proud. Any other would just either ingore them and let them talk, while he'd roll his eyes, or he'd yell back at them and hang up. Yes, he did that as well, but only after an hour of explaining and a few warnings of hanging up if she would not stop screaming. I know i would not talk so patiently with my parents. I'd hang up. But he didn't. It just shows he loves and respects his parents. It's just sad to see how his parents don't see how smart he is, how kind and understanding he is. How witty, caring and sweet he is. What a wonderful person their son is. It is sad. But what saddens me the most is that he's hurting. He doesn't want to fight with them. He would love to see his parents being proud of him, stand behind him and encourage him.

During the conversation i heard something that hit me hard. His father referred to me as "that friend of yours". We'll be going out for 6 months now. 6 months. And since he spends so much time here, i'd imagine they know my name. I feel sad. I know they do know my name, but obviously I'm not worth enough for them, to use my name. In these 6 months they didn't invite me once in their home. I went there twice, when he couldn't go out because of the biking accident, but with them home, i haven't been there once since then. I accepted that. I don't expect their invitation anymore. I don't wait for one either. And i'm quite sure, one won't come for a long time to come. I try not to care. It's their decision after all. It's their house after all. And what i would never do is impose myself to anybody. So like i said, i accepted that. Still, not wanting to see me or have me in their house is one thing, but not wanting to use my name is another. Well, if i accepted that, i'll accept this as well.
There's something i don't understand though. They worry about every single thing he gets involved with. His work and school, but when it gets to his relationship, one that brings him happiness and love, they don't care. At all. They have no wish to get to know me, to see what i'm all about etc. Like i said, i try not to care and i don't think about it, i just can't comprehend this whole two-sided attitude.